Archive for November, 2011
Kayla (14)
Living with, and growing up as the only child of, my mother provided me with little opportunity to do yard work. As a member of a team doing a beautification project with W D Tyree Ministries, I found myself having to learn to rake leaves, operate a blower, and pressure wash the walkway of a school campus. I did not have confidence in my ability to do these things because I had never done them before. My upper body strength is not that great. My team member sometimes lost patience with me but when I was coached by the group leader, I realized that my confidence was directly related to my competence. I was taught the proper technique for raking, operating the blower, and use of the pressure washer. I discovered that my skill was as good as the rest of the group even though I was a little slower. I guess you could say this opportunity provided my by W D Tyree Ministries help my competence in physical challenges.
Spiritual Competence: what does it mean to fully grow followers of Jesus Christ?
Most workers in youth ministry and parents have a tacit understanding of what they want youth to know/believe/experience/do before they leave youth ministry. However, many leaders and parents lack a clear definition of discipleship, and this lack of clarity may hinder efforts to guide youth toward being full-blown Disciples of Christ.
The Bible tells us about three key aspects of this important topic:
- Dimensions of Discipleship (What knowledge, experience, and relationships are essential?)
- The Process of Discipleship (How does one become a disciple?)
- The Marks of a Disciple (What is the nature of Christ likeness, and what do we need to keep in mind as we develop curriculum to teach Christ likeness?)
In reality, most of us emphasize one dimension of discipleship more than the others. Some of us default to the practices that helped us grow. Perhaps taking a serious look at the subject will help us be more biblical and intentional in our approaches.
The Four Dimensions of Discipleship
Luke 2:52 gives us a window into the adolescent years of Jesus, telling us that he grew in two ways: horizontally (in favor with man) and vertically (in favor with God). These two dimensions also are modeled in the cross. Vertical discipleship includes being reconciled to God (Rom. 5:10), while horizontal discipleship means we must be reconciled with others (Matt. 5:24; 25:40).
This two-dimensional approach is superior to the one-dimensional “Jesus-and-me” approach promoted by some leaders. Although the vertical dimension is critically important, no one can grow as a disciple of Christ in isolation.
Still, this two-dimensional model does not go far enough in describing the multi-dimensional reality of the human experience. Let’s consider a four-sided approach modeled on the pyramid, which has three visible sides and a base. This pyramid model will help illustrate the following four dimensions of discipleship.
- Belief—This is the cognitive side of making a disciple. What are the core beliefs youth need to know to provide them with a biblical foundation? Teaching and rehearsing these foundational truths is a critically important dimension of discipleship. Romans 10:2 speaks of those who “have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge.” It is a scary thing to observe ignorance on fire! Yet in our effort to disciple youth, we sometimes have more zeal than knowledge, more pep rally than content. .
- Relationship—Accountability comes with relationship. Fruit of the Spirit is exhibited in community. In John 13:35, Jesus tells us exactly how people will be able to recognize his disciples, and it is not by how well they do on a Jesus pop-quiz. He reminds us that we will be identified as His disciples by our love for one another. Knowledge is important, but the context of community is where discipleship is practiced and observed.
- Conviction—This side of the pyramid may be unobservable at times, although it is vital to discipleship. This is the passion that drives our obedience. Without it, youth are simply duty-driven in following Christ. Paul speaks of this dimension of discipleship in 2 Corinthians 5:14 where he declares the love of Christ compels him because he is convinced. These words are filled with passion and personal conviction.
It is not enough to simply “know the right things” or “do the right things.” Youth must have the “right passion and conviction” as motivation. If we ignore this attitudinal dimension (as difficult as it is to observe or measure), our discipleship endeavor is simply the dead obedience of legalism.
- Mystery—This fourth dimension of discipleship is the hidden base of the entire pyramid. Though often overlooked, the role of the Holy Spirit in discipleship is an essential dimension that we cannot orchestrate, manipulate, or control.
We plan, plant, and water, but growth and sanctification are under God’s control (1 Corinthians 3:6–7; 1 Thessalonians 5:23). It is God’s timing, and we cannot nor should we seek to manipulate it. Prayer is our most powerful resource in cultivating this mysterious dimension of discipleship.
The Path and Pace of Discipleship
God has wired each of us differently; although we might embrace this conceptually, we don’t always acknowledge it practically when we disciple youth. Each of us experiences God differently; and the rhythm and pace of our growth will vary, as well.
In his book Sacred Pathways, Gary Thomas identifies nine paths of spiritual formation. The naturalist grows closer to God while summiting a 14,000-foot peak in the Rockies or looking in awe at a spectacularly starry night. The intellectual finds God most profoundly in the pages of the Bible and books of theology. The enthusiast encounters God when participating in full-throttle, unashamed worship. The ascetic finds spiritual growth in the places of quiet solitude with God.
Youth who may experience nothing while having their “quiet time” may be profoundly deepened in their relationship with Christ while actively helping the poor or building a home for the homeless. One size does not fit all.
One of the most common and costly mistakes made by youth leaders while discipling youth is the assumption that their youth will encounter God most profoundly in the same way the leaders themselves did.
Part of the cure is to accept the idea that God has wired youth differently. The other part is to identify how our youth are wired and lean into their lives appropriately. Youth ministries that focus on a single type of spiritual path will frustrate the discipleship of those who need other paths.
The New Testament depicts the disciples’ variety of pathways and pacing.
The apostle Paul was biblically accurate and theologically sound. He was well-trained and wrote letters filled with deep truth and instruction.
Thomas seemed to experience God most profoundly when he could see, touch, and speak with Him. Although some of us have been a bit skeptical and suspicious of our senses, there are those such as Thomas who find in them an important part of their spiritual growth.
Peter was emotional and impetuous. He had a short fuse. He hacked off ears and blurted out statements that came back to bite him. It seemed Jesus had to repeat things to Peter a few times before they stuck. He tended to act and then think.
Marks of a Disciple
If our goal in youth ministry is to graduate fully devoted followers of Christ, then describe what it means to be such a follower. I believe most leaders have never articulated a clear description of a discipled youth. When youth graduate from your ministry, how will they be defined? What is your curriculum for Christ-likeness? If you don’t have a clear understanding of where you want them to be when they leave your ministry, they will have a difficult time knowing what is expected. Aim at nothing and you’ll hit it.
Sometimes we better grasp a concept by understanding its opposite. In his book The Divine Conspiracy, Dallas Willard includes a chapter titled “Curriculum for Christlikeness” in which he describes what a curriculum promoting Christlikeness is not:
- It is not simply external conformity.
- It is not special experiences.
- It is not faithfulness to the church or a profession of perfectly held doctrine.
Let me challenge you to create your best definition of discipleship, keeping your “finger in the biblical text” and resisting the press of political correctness, as well as cultural relevance.
The dimensions of discipleship, the path and pace of discipleship, and the marks of discipleship provide a solid foundation on which we can discuss methodology. Without that foundation, our discipleship endeavor will be susceptible to fads and formulas that may provide immediate but unsustainable growth.
PERSONAL REFLECTION
- How am I addressing the four dimensions of discipleship (belief, relationship, conviction, mystery) in my teenager? How could I do a better job of incorporating them?
- How do I encounter God most profoundly? How does this impact the way I teach and relate to my teen? What are some other ways I could try to communicate with teens that think and learn differently than me?
- Do I have an understanding of where I want my teens to be, spiritually, as a result of the ministry to youth at my church? What marks of a disciple would I like to see in my teens? How could I be more intentional about reaching these goals?
Becoming More Competent
In a previous article we identified six arenas where you might demonstrate competence: academically, cognitively, socially, emotionally, vocationally, and spiritually. Each of these areas encompasses many more qualities than you may realize.
EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE
Emotional competence is the ability to identify, manage, and regulate your emotions so that they help rather than hinder your progress in the world. It’s about knowing how to take turns, to delay gratification, to share and get along with others, and to cope with different contingences like success and failure. To be emotionally competent is to understand that you need to take into account other people’s emotions and reactions.
VOCATIONAL COMPETENCE
Vocational competence is about learning to get along with people who have power – such as a boss or supervisor, co-workers, and subordinates. It’s also about learning to take initiative, assume responsibility, follow directions, and complete tasks. Vocational competence demands patience, perseverance, and the ability to attend to work that may not be interesting – boring.
SPIRITUAL COMPETENCE
Spiritual competence is about embracing a world view that is consistent with your stated beliefs. It is choosing healthy options in critical everyday situations that are consistent with values you prize, cherish, and have become your own and not those superimposed on you.
HELP ME
Not that you understand the depth of what we mean when we say competence know this. Very few teens are equally competent in all areas. A strength in one area, however, can build up or compensate for a relative weakness in another. For example, if you are very socially competent but not so when it comes to academics, try using your social networking ability to your advantage in school.
Justin (16)
“The trip to Jamaica with W D Tyree Ministries was a new experience for me that developed my confidence. It really gave me a good look into what God had in store for me. I discovered that even though life looks very small you can still do big things and that God could use me to make a difference. This was God’s plan for me that started before I was born. I assisted in teaching Vacation Bible School by helping with arts and crafts. I never saw myself as a teacher but the 10-12 year olds challenged my confidence. The more confidence I gained the more my competence increased. It is amazing what can happen when you leave your comfort zone and go where you’ve never gone and do what you’ve never done.”
Help your Teen Daughter Develop a Healthy Body Image
“I’m fat!” “I’m ugly!” “I have nothing to wear that doesn’t make me look gross!”
Despite all your pep talks and positive reinforcement, you can’t seem to get through to your daughter. She’s unhappy with her appearance and convinced that everyone else is looking at her with judgment. You’re sad that she’s so one, too focused on her physical appearance and second, doesn’t appreciate her unique beauty. How do you help your daughter develop a healthy body image?
Healthy self esteem comes from the inside. As much as we would like to be able to pour it into our kids like a bucket, it isn’t that simple. However, there ARE ways we as parents can help:
Studies show that girls who play sports have a more positive body image than girls who don’t. It’s important for girls to play sports or do some kind of challenging physical activity so that they learn to appreciate their bodies for what they can DO instead of only what they look like. This is very important. If your daughter isn’t into soccer or tennis, how about martial arts, ballet or dance? Learning to carry oneself with pride and a growing sense of accomplishment as one meets challenges is how self esteem is built.
Try a reality check. Look at fashion magazines with your daughter and talk about how the photos are airbrushed and how the models are made-up by a team of experts. The reality is, no fashion model or actress actually looks like that when she wakes up in the morning! Help her understand that these images are not “real”. You may want to place a limit on how many of these magazines you allow your daughter to read. They can have a negative impact on a young woman’s self image.
Emphasize good health over looks. Not every body type has the genetics to be a size 2, but you can be healthy and feel great at a size 12. Taking good care of our skin and hair helps us glow from the inside. Girls need to find their comfortable weight and love themselves for who they are instead of comparing themselves to others. Emphasizing nutrition and exercise will help your daughter maximize her natural assets. Healthy and happy is always in style.
Help her pick out clothing that is flattering to her body. Girls want to wear what everyone else is wearing. Unfortunately not all cuts are becoming to all body sizes and shapes. Find some good books at the library that show you how to dress for your body shape. Wearing the right colors for your skin tone, hair and eye color also helps you look your best.
While you are working toward building your daughter’s image, remind her siblings and father that teasing, name calling and rude comments about their sister’s looks will not be tolerated. Avoid watching TV programs and movies that emphasize physical beauty too much or that promote a disrespectful attitude towards women and their bodies.
Finally, if your teen is overweight, institute an exercise / healthy eating program as a family. Start going for walks or runs with her, begin a sport together, join a ladies only gym. Getting active and exercising regularly boosts the mood and encourages more activity even before the weight starts to come off, creating a positive cycle. An overweight teen is going to have a low self image in our thin obsessed society. Work together as a family – it will go a long way in helping your teen daughter develop a healthy body image.
Written by Aurelia Williams