Live Your Dreams Not Your Fears

Posted on: November 12th, 2011 in Confidence - No Comments

Confidence is the perception that you can achieve desired goals through your actions.  Too many teens are not living their dreams because they are living their fears.  Are you one of them?  No matter who you are, where you are, or what you are doing, sooner or later you have to deal with fear.  Many teens think that successful people have simply learned how to shut off their fears.  Not true.  Fear is natural, and everyone must deal with it.  Unfortunately, most a lot of teens let their various fears stop them from taking the necessary action to achieve their dreams.  Successful teens, however, feel the fear but they do not let the fear hold them back.  They understand that fear is something to be acknowledged, experienced, and taken along for the ride.  In other words, they feel the fear and do what is required anyway.  Almost all of your fears are self-created.

You essentially scare yourself by imaging negative outcomes to any activity, project, or opportunity you face.  This is good news since you are the one doing in the imagining, you are also the one who can stop the imagining and conquer your fear.  You can do this by facing the actual facts and choosing to be sensible and logical.  You can choose to look at fear this way: Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.

Do you bring unrealistic or improbable fears into your life?  Here is one way to find out.  Make a list of things you are currently afraid to do – not things you are afraid of but things you are afraid to do.  For example, I am afraid to give a speech in front of my class.  Once your list is complete, go back over and restate each fear using this format:  I want to ______, but I scare myself by imagining _________________________________.  The phrase I scare myself by imagining helps you to understand that all fear is self-created by imagining a negative future outcome.  In the new format, the statement might read like this:  I want to give a speech in front of my class, but I scare myself by imagining myself stuttering or picturing other students laughing and making fun of me.  By rephrasing your own fears, you will find that they are all self-created by simply misusing your own imagination.  What you will discover is that your brain is just focusing on what you do not want to happen.  When you realize this, you can change your focus and find the courage to face your fears.

In the Bible the statement “fear not” occurs more than 365 times.  Why?  Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

Confidence: What is it?

Posted on: October 9th, 2011 in Confidence - No Comments

Confidence as defined here is the perception that you can achieve desired goals through your actions. A confident teen believes that he or she has the ability to succeed and perform well academically, socially, and in those areas of life important to him or her.

As a teenager, you learn confidence when the adults in your life instill and enhance your sense of self-determination, independent thinking, and self-esteem. Whereas competence is about what you can do, confidence is about what you believe you can do. Confidence is expressed differently at different ages. Although some of the characteristics of confidence remain the same throughout the adolescence, others evolve as you mature and acquire new roles, responsibilities, and interests. You may not feel confident because you don’t perceive yourself to be good at anything. However, confidence is more than a feeling. Confidence is knowing that you are valued and loved. It’s knowing that you are significant whether you live in the city or country, whatever your economic status, gender, religion, or ethnic heritage. Your life matters to God and Christ dying for you is proof. Jesus’ death on the cross proves that you are valuable, acceptable, lovable, useful, forgivable, and confident because you were worth dying for. Yes, you can be confident. How? By assuming personal responsibility for your life. You cannot change the circumstances or the situations but you can change yourself. According to Philippians 1:6, God wants to start a great work in you and keep at it so that He might use you to make a difference.