Posts Tagged ‘For Teens’
Building Teen Character: Part-Time Employment
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child’s life. They are not children anymore, but they are also not adults. During this time the choices they make may have an effect on them for the rest of their lives. It is the parents’ responsibility to guide their teenagers in the right direction by helping them make responsible choices and building their character to the point that when their teenagers move out of the house they are on the road to being responsible adults and have the tools they need to succeed in life.
There are a number of ways that parents can help teenagers build their character. One way is through part-time employment. Having a job provides many learning opportunities for teens.
* It teaches them what it takes to make a living, and that it is hard work to earn money to pay bills.
* They have the opportunity to learn to manage their own money and make choices of how they will spend it.
* If parents gives their teens the responsibility of paying for some of their own bills (e.g., car insurance, gas, clothing, cell phone, lunches out, etc.), then teens will realize they will only be able to have these things if they pay for them and will have to decide if it is worth it to them or not. Their priorities suddenly change when it is their money they are spending. They don’t necessarily have to pay all their own bills, giving them a couple of expenses to take care of will teach them to pay their own way and make responsible choices with their money.
* Working is one way for teens to learn to get along with and work along side other people, a very crucial step in character development. How many adults do you know that can’t get along with other people! Teens learn that you won’t always like everyone you work with, but that it doesn’t matter. You still do your job and have a good attitude about it, treating others as you wish to be treated.
* The process of looking for a job requires teenagers to take a good look at themselves and their abilities, helping them to see what kind of people they want to be and what they ultimately want to do with their lives.
* Job experience is the first step to building a successful resume. Any jobs a teen has will look good on college applications and be a stepping stone to future employment.
Of course, all this sounds great but in reality can be difficult to put into practice. The first job our daughter had she got laid off from because she and her boss could not come to agreement on the hours she would work. After she started working there he changed the hours he said she could work and it conflicted with other activities she had. It was very hard for her to feel like she was “fired” from her first job. We had to talk through a lot of the feelings she had towards her boss and some of the experiences she had at that job. But because she chose to honor her boss by showing him respect when he didn’t necessarily deserve it, he gave her an excellent reference for her next job.
A couple of months later she did find another job that was much better than the first one, and she had many great learning experiences of working with others and learning to serve others even when it was very hard work.
Parents can’t just throw their teens out into the workplace and expect everything will go great. Issues will arise that need to be worked through with the parents’ help, but this is where the learning occurs, and character development begins!
Article by:
Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her web sites at www.creativehomemaking.com [2] and www.christian-parent.com [3].
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[1] RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ladypens
[2] www.creativehomemaking.com: http://www.creativehomemaking.com/
[3] www.christian-parent.com: http://www.christian-parent.com/
[4] Eight Time-Saving Cooking Tips: http://www.ladypens.com/eight-time-saving-cooking-tips/
[5] Scheduling Quiet Time: http://www.ladypens.com/scheduling-quiet-time/
[6] The Heart of a Humble Parent: http://www.ladypens.com/the-heart-of-a-humble-parent/
[7] A Child Can Make a Difference: http://www.ladypens.com/a-child-can-make-a-difference/
[8] Time Management for Kids: http://www.ladypens.com/time-management-for-kids/
How You Affect Society
Community is what enables us to think beyond ourselves and have a sense of social justice. Most of the time when we speak of someone who is kind, who listens, who always seems to know the right thing to say, who seems genuinely interested in us and with whom we feel at home, we are describing a person who understands community. In this realm, community may be thought of as being composed of two specific feelings – empathy and sympathy.
Empathy is the ability to feel another person’s pain. Sympathy is feeling sorrowful that another person is suffering. These feeling can occur independently and simultaneously. Because of our capacity for empathy and sympathy, we can think beyond our immediate physical needs and creature comforts. A community minded person is not content to say, “I have mine, so now it’s every man for himself.” She looks beyond her own situation and is concerned with the welfare of others, often to the extent that she cannot be happy with what she has if she knows others have less. She wants everyone to have what they need. She knows that everyone should expect to receive a fair chance, equal opportunity, freedom from discrimination, and a full measure of equality and dignity under the law.
As a teenager, you are evolving into a broader sense of community. Just like all of your body parts fit together to make the total person – You, you in turn fit as a part of the broader community – Society. What you bring to society – positively or negatively, is what affects society. Our society will only get better when you begin to recognize that it is not all about you, but community. You can impact our community when you dare to make a difference. Fairness, equality, justice, and change do not just happen. They require you as the catalyst.
Ephesians 2:21 reminds us that God has joined together the whole structure of believers as a holy temple of the Lord. You do not have to wait until you are a senior citizen to make a difference. You can begin today.
The First of the Critical Areas
Compassion, unlike confidence and competence, is the first of the critical areas of growth that extends beyond the boundaries of self and acknowledges the importance of others. When you experience compassion for others – whether family members, friends, teachers, coaches, mentors, and people in the community, you contribute to their well-being as well as having your own well-being enhanced.
Compassion draws on the notion that we as humans are inherently social creatures. No matter how confident or competent we may be, we still need other people to create healthy, productive lives. Ultimately, a person who is compassionate toward others is in tune with himself or herself. He or she has an awareness of their feelings and thoughts as they relate to both others and self. Have you ever volunteered to do something for someone without having to be recognized for doing it? Have you ever volunteered to do something for someone when the recipient of your efforts was not able to express appreciation? Have you ever visited a nursing home to encourage an incapacitated senior who was not a relative or someone you knew? Your answer to these questions may be a resounding, “no.” However, when you come to the realization that you are important and that you matter and are valued, you will begin to experience a love that controls and compels you to have compassion for others. This love is found in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).
Are You Performing?
Competence is the ability to perform adequately in the world. It means being able to accomplish what is needed so as to have effective interactions with other people and social institutions. Someone who is competent knows how to make things work out for him. As a teen, you may demonstrate competence in the following six arenas: academically, cognitively, socially, emotionally, vocationally, and spiritually. Each of these areas encompasses many more qualities than you may probably realize.
ACADEMIC COMPETENCE
For example, a narrow view of academic competence refers to the ability to get good grades on tests, paper, and report cards. However, from our perspective of positive youth development, academic competence sees teens as good school citizens. They join teams, audition for plays, participate in events and student government. They know how to negotiate the entire school environment and adapt it to their needs. Does this describe you? Are you cognitively competent?
COGNITIVE COMPETENCE
This is the ability to articulate and argue for your opinions or acquire information about topics that are of interest whether or not these topics arise or are assigned in school. Do you listen to the news, watch the History Channel, read avidly, do crossword puzzles, participate on the debate team? If you do then you are cognitively competent. Cognitive competence can also be reflected in curiosity or inquisitiveness about different areas of knowledge and in the ability to figure out how to acquire this knowledge. Does this describe you? What about social competence?
SOCIAL COMPETENCE
Social competence entails knowing what is expected in differing social situations and being able to act accordingly. Do you have satisfying and sustained relationships? The number of friends you have does not matter but the quality of those friendships does. A socially competent person knows how to act toward other people of different ages and walks of life – teacher, employer, peer, friend, and siblings. If you are competent socially, you know how to conduct yourself during a job interview, how to turn down a solicitation from a charity, how to participate in a committee meeting, and whom to turn to for help.
HELP ME
If you have discovered you are lacking in competence don’t worry. According to Luke 2:52, Jesus had to grow in competence as well. Notice here, Jesus grew in wisdom (academic and cognitive competence), and stature (emotional and vocational competence), and favor with God (spiritual competence) and man (social competence). He offers help to those who dare to put their trust in Him (Philippians 4:13).
Confidence: What is it?
Confidence as defined here is the perception that you can achieve desired goals through your actions. A confident teen believes that he or she has the ability to succeed and perform well academically, socially, and in those areas of life important to him or her.
As a teenager, you learn confidence when the adults in your life instill and enhance your sense of self-determination, independent thinking, and self-esteem. Whereas competence is about what you can do, confidence is about what you believe you can do. Confidence is expressed differently at different ages. Although some of the characteristics of confidence remain the same throughout the adolescence, others evolve as you mature and acquire new roles, responsibilities, and interests. You may not feel confident because you don’t perceive yourself to be good at anything. However, confidence is more than a feeling. Confidence is knowing that you are valued and loved. It’s knowing that you are significant whether you live in the city or country, whatever your economic status, gender, religion, or ethnic heritage. Your life matters to God and Christ dying for you is proof. Jesus’ death on the cross proves that you are valuable, acceptable, lovable, useful, forgivable, and confident because you were worth dying for. Yes, you can be confident. How? By assuming personal responsibility for your life. You cannot change the circumstances or the situations but you can change yourself. According to Philippians 1:6, God wants to start a great work in you and keep at it so that He might use you to make a difference.