In a previous article we identified six arenas where you might demonstrate competence: academically, cognitively, socially, emotionally, vocationally, and spiritually. Each of these areas encompasses many more qualities than you may realize.
Emotional competence is the ability to identify, manage, and regulate your emotions so that they help rather than hinder your progress in the world. It’s about knowing how to take turns, to delay gratification, to share and get along with others, and to cope with different contingences like success and failure. To be emotionally competent is to understand that you need to take into account other people’s emotions and reactions.
Vocational competence is about learning to get along with people who have power – such as a boss or supervisor, co-workers, and subordinates. It’s also about learning to take initiative, assume responsibility, follow directions, and complete tasks. Vocational competence demands patience, perseverance, and the ability to attend to work that may not be interesting – boring.
Spiritual competence is about embracing a world view that is consistent with your stated beliefs. It is choosing healthy options in critical everyday situations that are consistent with values you prize, cherish, and have become your own and not those superimposed on you.
Not that you understand the depth of what we mean when we say competence know this. Very few teens are equally competent in all areas. A strength in one area, however, can build up or compensate for a relative weakness in another. For example, if you are very socially competent but not so when it comes to academics, try using your social networking ability to your advantage in school.
Confidence is the perception that you can achieve desired goals through your actions. Too many teens are not living their dreams because they are living their fears. Are you one of them? No matter who you are, where you are, or what you are doing, sooner or later you have to deal with fear. Many teens think that successful people have simply learned how to shut off their fears. Not true. Fear is natural, and everyone must deal with it. Unfortunately, most a lot of teens let their various fears stop them from taking the necessary action to achieve their dreams. Successful teens, however, feel the fear but they do not let the fear hold them back. They understand that fear is something to be acknowledged, experienced, and taken along for the ride. In other words, they feel the fear and do what is required anyway. Almost all of your fears are self-created.
You essentially scare yourself by imaging negative outcomes to any activity, project, or opportunity you face. This is good news since you are the one doing in the imagining, you are also the one who can stop the imagining and conquer your fear. You can do this by facing the actual facts and choosing to be sensible and logical. You can choose to look at fear this way: Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.
Do you bring unrealistic or improbable fears into your life? Here is one way to find out. Make a list of things you are currently afraid to do – not things you are afraid of but things you are afraid to do. For example, I am afraid to give a speech in front of my class. Once your list is complete, go back over and restate each fear using this format: I want to ______, but I scare myself by imagining _________________________________. The phrase I scare myself by imagining helps you to understand that all fear is self-created by imagining a negative future outcome. In the new format, the statement might read like this: I want to give a speech in front of my class, but I scare myself by imagining myself stuttering or picturing other students laughing and making fun of me. By rephrasing your own fears, you will find that they are all self-created by simply misusing your own imagination. What you will discover is that your brain is just focusing on what you do not want to happen. When you realize this, you can change your focus and find the courage to face your fears.
In the Bible the statement “fear not” occurs more than 365 times. Why? Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
From mission trips…, posted by William D Tyree III on 5/18/2011 (5 items)
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Watch the highlights of our latest missions trip.