Archive for October, 2011
Are You Performing?
Competence is the ability to perform adequately in the world. It means being able to accomplish what is needed so as to have effective interactions with other people and social institutions. Someone who is competent knows how to make things work out for him. As a teen, you may demonstrate competence in the following six arenas: academically, cognitively, socially, emotionally, vocationally, and spiritually. Each of these areas encompasses many more qualities than you may probably realize.
ACADEMIC COMPETENCE
For example, a narrow view of academic competence refers to the ability to get good grades on tests, paper, and report cards. However, from our perspective of positive youth development, academic competence sees teens as good school citizens. They join teams, audition for plays, participate in events and student government. They know how to negotiate the entire school environment and adapt it to their needs. Does this describe you? Are you cognitively competent?
COGNITIVE COMPETENCE
This is the ability to articulate and argue for your opinions or acquire information about topics that are of interest whether or not these topics arise or are assigned in school. Do you listen to the news, watch the History Channel, read avidly, do crossword puzzles, participate on the debate team? If you do then you are cognitively competent. Cognitive competence can also be reflected in curiosity or inquisitiveness about different areas of knowledge and in the ability to figure out how to acquire this knowledge. Does this describe you? What about social competence?
SOCIAL COMPETENCE
Social competence entails knowing what is expected in differing social situations and being able to act accordingly. Do you have satisfying and sustained relationships? The number of friends you have does not matter but the quality of those friendships does. A socially competent person knows how to act toward other people of different ages and walks of life – teacher, employer, peer, friend, and siblings. If you are competent socially, you know how to conduct yourself during a job interview, how to turn down a solicitation from a charity, how to participate in a committee meeting, and whom to turn to for help.
HELP ME
If you have discovered you are lacking in competence don’t worry. According to Luke 2:52, Jesus had to grow in competence as well. Notice here, Jesus grew in wisdom (academic and cognitive competence), and stature (emotional and vocational competence), and favor with God (spiritual competence) and man (social competence). He offers help to those who dare to put their trust in Him (Philippians 4:13).
Confidence: What is it?
Confidence as defined here is the perception that you can achieve desired goals through your actions. A confident teen believes that he or she has the ability to succeed and perform well academically, socially, and in those areas of life important to him or her.
As a teenager, you learn confidence when the adults in your life instill and enhance your sense of self-determination, independent thinking, and self-esteem. Whereas competence is about what you can do, confidence is about what you believe you can do. Confidence is expressed differently at different ages. Although some of the characteristics of confidence remain the same throughout the adolescence, others evolve as you mature and acquire new roles, responsibilities, and interests. You may not feel confident because you don’t perceive yourself to be good at anything. However, confidence is more than a feeling. Confidence is knowing that you are valued and loved. It’s knowing that you are significant whether you live in the city or country, whatever your economic status, gender, religion, or ethnic heritage. Your life matters to God and Christ dying for you is proof. Jesus’ death on the cross proves that you are valuable, acceptable, lovable, useful, forgivable, and confident because you were worth dying for. Yes, you can be confident. How? By assuming personal responsibility for your life. You cannot change the circumstances or the situations but you can change yourself. According to Philippians 1:6, God wants to start a great work in you and keep at it so that He might use you to make a difference.
Enhance Your Teen’s Overall Competence
Competence is the ability to perform adequately in the world. It means being able to accomplish what is needed so as to have effective interactions with other people and social institutions. Someone who is competent knows how to make things work out for him. Like a chain reaction, the more competence a person has, the more competently he acts. This hones their skills and leads them to be more competent. Teens may demonstrate competence in the following six arenas: academically, cognitively, socially, emotionally, vocationally, and spiritually. Each of these areas encompasses many more qualities than you may probably realize.
SO WHAT?
Why is competence in these areas so important? A better question might be, “What happens to teens who do not become competent?” They tend to not function independently but remain attached to their parents, who worry about them constantly. They often turn out to be followers, easily manipulated by charismatic individuals who have their own agendas.
WHAT CAN I DO?
To understand how to nurture and enhance competence in all these areas, it’s first important to understand the roots of competence. A desire to learn things or accomplish tasks for their own value, or intrinsic motivation, is very compelling. Parents can use it to enhance their teens’ overall competence. Extrinsic motivation, working for an external reward, such as money or a good grade, is short lived. Once the reward is earned the motivation often disappears.
MAINTAIN A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP
The first step is to carefully observe those activities your teen naturally gravitates toward. Remain objective about this, noticing what he likes not what you wish he would like and support his interest in it. Support his interest without taking it over or compromising your standards. Learn to praise and criticize productively.
BUILD LIFE SKILLS
Take a strength-based approached. This means help her enhance the skills she has and develop new skills when your teen asks for help or is amenable to hearing your suggestions. Suggest your teen learn to break down big jobs into smaller more manageable components. Help your teen see that the competence she brings to the tasks she enjoys can be generalized to other important facets of life.
GIVE TEENS THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEAD
Actively involve your teen in making decisions important to the completion of the task. Turn mistakes into teachable moments.