If your kids ever wonder, “What does God look like?” send them to me. I’ve seen His hands. I’ve seen them all my life – on an Iowa couple named George and Ruth. Before I could even read, I watched those hands empty bedpans, prepare sponge baths and feed Ruth’s elderly mother. During my teen years, after a drunk driver demolished our car with my whole family inside, I watched those hands build a mini-hospital in our livingroom. They made meals, washed sheets, scrubbed dishes and administered medications for months.
George and Ruth haven’t ended world hunger. They haven’t cured AIDS. They just see needs and quietly, tenderly meet them. My grandparents put flesh and bone to God’s great love.
Those hands not only changed who I was – they changed who I want to be.
Have your kids seen God’s hands? It’s great to talk about Jesus washing feet and feeding crowds, but those accounts are just bedtime stories to children who don’t witness servant behavior in their world.
That realization convicts me to examine my definition of “servanthood.” See, I’m a doer. I count my day successful if I’ve marked everything off my checklist. If you’re like me, you may even battle a production mentality in the realm of serving. Teaching Sunday school classes or taking someone a meal or writing a check to charity are all good activities. But are we cheerful givers? Or are we just trying to fill a quota? Hoping to impress someone? Attempting to get the church staff off our backs?
I’m not dissing day planners and lists, but my hunch is that Jesus wouldn’t use them. He seemed to keep his schedule open for divine appointments. He never avoided a task that was “beneath” Him or considered any person unworthy of His time.
Sure, He got frustrated: He wept for our lack of understanding, but He never gave up on His mission. Whether He was performing a marvelous miracle or holding a child, He did everything with great compassion.
He asked us to do likewise. Take time. Be humble. Keep on. Love.
Simple commands…but hard commands. Commands that don’t fit on a checklist.
Like God himself, our kids aren’t tracking the number of our activities or judging how “good” those works may seem. They’re watching to see if our hands are working in tandem with our hearts.
Growing up in church, I learned that following Christ’s example led to heavenly treasures. What I didn’t know was how richly God rewards servant behavior here on earth!
Maybe you’ve experienced those feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction after helping someone…but that’s just the beginning. Numerous studies link mental and physical health benefits with servanthood. Other research suggests that kids with a servant mindset have higher GPAs, better reading comprehension, sharper critical thinking and problem solving skills, higher levels of creativity, and a greater understanding of and appreciation for others. Kids who are given opportunities to serve others also tend to make healthier lifestyle choices and develop better social skills than those who don’t volunteer.
Even kids as young as five can reap some of these benefits, research suggests. Deborah Spaide, author of Teaching Your Kids to Care: How to Discover and Develop the Spirit of Charity in Your Children says that parents do their children a disservice by sheltering them too much from the world’s suffering.
“Kids can only go on for so long, feeling such painful empathy without any opportunity to do anything about it, before they begin to tell themselves to stop feeling anything at all.” Spaide says.
She suggests pointing them toward altruism before they become hardened, because serving others “helps kids discover their talents, hone their skills and begin to believe in themselves.”
It’s never too early to being cultivating servantlike traits. If we start by teaching and modeling basic kindness, we lay a foundation for communicating the value of work and charity. Some worthwhile aspects of servanthood to teach include
by Carolyn MacInnes
Most workers in youth ministry and parents have a tacit understanding of what they want youth to know/believe/experience/do before they leave youth ministry. However, many leaders and parents lack a clear definition of discipleship, and this lack of clarity may hinder efforts to guide youth toward being full-blown Disciples of Christ.
The Bible tells us about three key aspects of this important topic:
In reality, most of us emphasize one dimension of discipleship more than the others. Some of us default to the practices that helped us grow. Perhaps taking a serious look at the subject will help us be more biblical and intentional in our approaches.
Luke 2:52 gives us a window into the adolescent years of Jesus, telling us that he grew in two ways: horizontally (in favor with man) and vertically (in favor with God). These two dimensions also are modeled in the cross. Vertical discipleship includes being reconciled to God (Rom. 5:10), while horizontal discipleship means we must be reconciled with others (Matt. 5:24; 25:40).
This two-dimensional approach is superior to the one-dimensional “Jesus-and-me” approach promoted by some leaders. Although the vertical dimension is critically important, no one can grow as a disciple of Christ in isolation.
Still, this two-dimensional model does not go far enough in describing the multi-dimensional reality of the human experience. Let’s consider a four-sided approach modeled on the pyramid, which has three visible sides and a base. This pyramid model will help illustrate the following four dimensions of discipleship.
It is not enough to simply “know the right things” or “do the right things.” Youth must have the “right passion and conviction” as motivation. If we ignore this attitudinal dimension (as difficult as it is to observe or measure), our discipleship endeavor is simply the dead obedience of legalism.
We plan, plant, and water, but growth and sanctification are under God’s control (1 Corinthians 3:6–7; 1 Thessalonians 5:23). It is God’s timing, and we cannot nor should we seek to manipulate it. Prayer is our most powerful resource in cultivating this mysterious dimension of discipleship.
God has wired each of us differently; although we might embrace this conceptually, we don’t always acknowledge it practically when we disciple youth. Each of us experiences God differently; and the rhythm and pace of our growth will vary, as well.
In his book Sacred Pathways, Gary Thomas identifies nine paths of spiritual formation. The naturalist grows closer to God while summiting a 14,000-foot peak in the Rockies or looking in awe at a spectacularly starry night. The intellectual finds God most profoundly in the pages of the Bible and books of theology. The enthusiast encounters God when participating in full-throttle, unashamed worship. The ascetic finds spiritual growth in the places of quiet solitude with God.
Youth who may experience nothing while having their “quiet time” may be profoundly deepened in their relationship with Christ while actively helping the poor or building a home for the homeless. One size does not fit all.
One of the most common and costly mistakes made by youth leaders while discipling youth is the assumption that their youth will encounter God most profoundly in the same way the leaders themselves did.
Part of the cure is to accept the idea that God has wired youth differently. The other part is to identify how our youth are wired and lean into their lives appropriately. Youth ministries that focus on a single type of spiritual path will frustrate the discipleship of those who need other paths.
The New Testament depicts the disciples’ variety of pathways and pacing.
The apostle Paul was biblically accurate and theologically sound. He was well-trained and wrote letters filled with deep truth and instruction.
Thomas seemed to experience God most profoundly when he could see, touch, and speak with Him. Although some of us have been a bit skeptical and suspicious of our senses, there are those such as Thomas who find in them an important part of their spiritual growth.
Peter was emotional and impetuous. He had a short fuse. He hacked off ears and blurted out statements that came back to bite him. It seemed Jesus had to repeat things to Peter a few times before they stuck. He tended to act and then think.
If our goal in youth ministry is to graduate fully devoted followers of Christ, then describe what it means to be such a follower. I believe most leaders have never articulated a clear description of a discipled youth. When youth graduate from your ministry, how will they be defined? What is your curriculum for Christ-likeness? If you don’t have a clear understanding of where you want them to be when they leave your ministry, they will have a difficult time knowing what is expected. Aim at nothing and you’ll hit it.
Sometimes we better grasp a concept by understanding its opposite. In his book The Divine Conspiracy, Dallas Willard includes a chapter titled “Curriculum for Christlikeness” in which he describes what a curriculum promoting Christlikeness is not:
Let me challenge you to create your best definition of discipleship, keeping your “finger in the biblical text” and resisting the press of political correctness, as well as cultural relevance.
The dimensions of discipleship, the path and pace of discipleship, and the marks of discipleship provide a solid foundation on which we can discuss methodology. Without that foundation, our discipleship endeavor will be susceptible to fads and formulas that may provide immediate but unsustainable growth.
In a previous article we identified six arenas where you might demonstrate competence: academically, cognitively, socially, emotionally, vocationally, and spiritually. Each of these areas encompasses many more qualities than you may realize.
Emotional competence is the ability to identify, manage, and regulate your emotions so that they help rather than hinder your progress in the world. It’s about knowing how to take turns, to delay gratification, to share and get along with others, and to cope with different contingences like success and failure. To be emotionally competent is to understand that you need to take into account other people’s emotions and reactions.
Vocational competence is about learning to get along with people who have power – such as a boss or supervisor, co-workers, and subordinates. It’s also about learning to take initiative, assume responsibility, follow directions, and complete tasks. Vocational competence demands patience, perseverance, and the ability to attend to work that may not be interesting – boring.
Spiritual competence is about embracing a world view that is consistent with your stated beliefs. It is choosing healthy options in critical everyday situations that are consistent with values you prize, cherish, and have become your own and not those superimposed on you.
Not that you understand the depth of what we mean when we say competence know this. Very few teens are equally competent in all areas. A strength in one area, however, can build up or compensate for a relative weakness in another. For example, if you are very socially competent but not so when it comes to academics, try using your social networking ability to your advantage in school.