Don't think you can do it; know you can
If you are going to do something you should really do it right
Accepting God's love allows us to love others
Learning to get along with others is always a good thing
Possessing the character of Christ will get you far
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The Heart of a Humble Parent
Do you ever talk to your children about your failings? About your sometimes unenlightened decisions? I was raised with a distorted view that life is just something that happens to you, and not a reality that is formed, in part, by your everyday decisions.
When you don’t evaluate the impact your decisions have on your life, you are lacking a skill that your children will never learn other than by example.
When you make a decision that negatively affects your life or the lives of others, be the first to admit it. Admit your mistake and resolve to handle any resulting consequences of your actions.
Sound simple? It really is. It takes a little practice and a humble spirit, but you will be teaching your children a very important lesson: how to honor others.
When you don’t deal with the consequences of your actions and don’t admit your failings, your children will get one or more of the following messages:
– adults don’t make mistakes
– when something goes wrong in my life it is someone else’s fault
– if I make a poor choice and don’t own up to it I am not accountable for it
Is this the message you want to send your child? Talk to your children when you’ve made a decision you could have maybe handled differently. Ask them their opinion on what they would have done in your situation and how they would have handled it differently.
Of course you can also do this when your children make poor choices of their own. But failing to share your own mistakes (after you’ve owned up to them) shows your children that adults, too, make mistakes. The goal is not to grow up to be someone who always makes the right decision (easy to mistakenly believe), but someone who takes responsibility for their own actions, whatever the cost.
Article by:
Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For complete resources for the Christian home, visit her web site at www.Christian-Parent.com [2].
Article printed from LadyPens: http://www.ladypens.com
URL to article: http://www.ladypens.com/the-heart-of-a-humble-parent/
URLs in this post:
[1] RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ladypens
[2] www.Christian-Parent.com: http://www.christian-parent.com/
[3] Eight Time-Saving Cooking Tips: http://www.ladypens.com/eight-time-saving-cooking-tips/
[4] Scheduling Quiet Time: http://www.ladypens.com/scheduling-quiet-time/
[5] A Child Can Make a Difference: http://www.ladypens.com/a-child-can-make-a-difference/
[6] Time Management for Kids: http://www.ladypens.com/time-management-for-kids/
[7] Timely Thank-You’s: http://www.ladypens.com/timely-thank-yous/
Building Teen Character: Part-Time Employment
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child’s life. They are not children anymore, but they are also not adults. During this time the choices they make may have an effect on them for the rest of their lives. It is the parents’ responsibility to guide their teenagers in the right direction by helping them make responsible choices and building their character to the point that when their teenagers move out of the house they are on the road to being responsible adults and have the tools they need to succeed in life.
There are a number of ways that parents can help teenagers build their character. One way is through part-time employment. Having a job provides many learning opportunities for teens.
* It teaches them what it takes to make a living, and that it is hard work to earn money to pay bills.
* They have the opportunity to learn to manage their own money and make choices of how they will spend it.
* If parents gives their teens the responsibility of paying for some of their own bills (e.g., car insurance, gas, clothing, cell phone, lunches out, etc.), then teens will realize they will only be able to have these things if they pay for them and will have to decide if it is worth it to them or not. Their priorities suddenly change when it is their money they are spending. They don’t necessarily have to pay all their own bills, giving them a couple of expenses to take care of will teach them to pay their own way and make responsible choices with their money.
* Working is one way for teens to learn to get along with and work along side other people, a very crucial step in character development. How many adults do you know that can’t get along with other people! Teens learn that you won’t always like everyone you work with, but that it doesn’t matter. You still do your job and have a good attitude about it, treating others as you wish to be treated.
* The process of looking for a job requires teenagers to take a good look at themselves and their abilities, helping them to see what kind of people they want to be and what they ultimately want to do with their lives.
* Job experience is the first step to building a successful resume. Any jobs a teen has will look good on college applications and be a stepping stone to future employment.
Of course, all this sounds great but in reality can be difficult to put into practice. The first job our daughter had she got laid off from because she and her boss could not come to agreement on the hours she would work. After she started working there he changed the hours he said she could work and it conflicted with other activities she had. It was very hard for her to feel like she was “fired” from her first job. We had to talk through a lot of the feelings she had towards her boss and some of the experiences she had at that job. But because she chose to honor her boss by showing him respect when he didn’t necessarily deserve it, he gave her an excellent reference for her next job.
A couple of months later she did find another job that was much better than the first one, and she had many great learning experiences of working with others and learning to serve others even when it was very hard work.
Parents can’t just throw their teens out into the workplace and expect everything will go great. Issues will arise that need to be worked through with the parents’ help, but this is where the learning occurs, and character development begins!
Article by:
Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her web sites at www.creativehomemaking.com [2] and www.christian-parent.com [3].
Article printed from LadyPens: http://www.ladypens.com
URL to article: http://www.ladypens.com/building-teen-character-part-time-employment/
URLs in this post:
[1] RSS feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ladypens
[2] www.creativehomemaking.com: http://www.creativehomemaking.com/
[3] www.christian-parent.com: http://www.christian-parent.com/
[4] Eight Time-Saving Cooking Tips: http://www.ladypens.com/eight-time-saving-cooking-tips/
[5] Scheduling Quiet Time: http://www.ladypens.com/scheduling-quiet-time/
[6] The Heart of a Humble Parent: http://www.ladypens.com/the-heart-of-a-humble-parent/
[7] A Child Can Make a Difference: http://www.ladypens.com/a-child-can-make-a-difference/
[8] Time Management for Kids: http://www.ladypens.com/time-management-for-kids/
Sensitizing Your Teen
Community is what enables us to think beyond ourselves and have a sense of social justice. Most of the time when we speak of someone who is kind, who listens, who always seems to know the right thing to say, who seems genuinely interested in us and with whom we feel at home, we are describing a person who understands community.
In this realm, community may be thought of as being composed of two specific feelings – empathy and sympathy. Empathy is the ability to feel another person’s pain. Sympathy is feeling sorrowful that another person is suffering. These feeling can occur independently and simultaneously. Because of our capacity for empathy and sympathy, we can think beyond our immediate physical needs and creature comforts. A community minded person is not content to say, “I have mine, so now it’s every man for himself.” She looks beyond her own situation and is concerned with the welfare of others, often to the extent that she cannot be happy with what she has if she knows others have less. She wants everyone to have what they need. She knows that everyone should expect to receive a fair chance, equal opportunity, freedom from discrimination, and a full measure of equality and dignity under the law. You can help your teen become a community minded person by nurturing and enhancing his or her sense of sympathy and empathy.
MAINTAIN A POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP
Empathize with your teen. Sometimes it’s difficult, perhaps even painful, to recall how you felt when you were a teen. But when you do, you will discover you end up having more empathy for what your child is going through. This will also help you in expressing care for them as they pull away.
BUILD LIFE SKILLS
Make your home a laboratory for understanding community. This is contagious. Community minded parents raise community minded teens. As a parent, model sympathy and empathy and actions that display a sense of community. Share your opinions about those issues that are close to your heart. Explain why you care. Make it acceptable to have and share an emotional life with your teen.
GIVE TEENS THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEAD
Encourage your teen to hone their sense of community close to home. You can help sensitize your teen by helping them care for family members who are sick or indisposed. Additionally, encourage your teen to speak out for social justice.